If I had known last week what we would be going through this week, I would have broken down and cried. If my girls had known last week how often Paul would need to be away this week there would have been much weeping, some pouting, and maybe even a fit or two.

But this week has gone as smoothly as it could have. God truly does give us the grace to handle the need of the moment when the moment arrives, and not before. Not that we've handled everything perfectly. But we have managed to get through the first part of the week without stressing out or breaking down.

Ironically, Friday was a breakdown sort of day for me. I began the day out of sorts and my sour mood did not abate during the day. As I began to journal and blame my mood on not enough quality adult interaction, God totally convicted me that the problem wasn't a lack of interaction with other people, my problem was lack of quality time with Him! So I immediately stopped my journaling, downloaded the first video session of Beth Moore's A Woman's Heart, God's Dwelling Place, and watched it. And this week I've been faithfully spending time with God through the workbook. I know that God has used my time with Him to strengthen me. I really don't want to think about all the ugly flesh & self that would have come out of me this week had I not been in the Word!

God was so faithful to prepare me to be in His Word when He knew I would need it most!

Sometimes life is smooth and, if not exactly easy, at least comfortably predictable. And I seldom appreciate those times while I have them. We are not currently enjoying a time of peace and rest. Jack has felt a lot of pressure regarding an investment he made last year. What seemed at the time to be an incredible opportunity to enhance our income has become a major headache! One of the other people involved has had various family distractions, and others have just been dragging their feet when it comes to moving forward and resolving things.


If that weren't enough, a couple of weeks ago, Paul's car was broken into and thieves broke in and stole! The thieves took his bag which contained some business items that will be expensive to replace, his wallet, and, worst of all, his Bible and journal. The police have not been able to catch the thieves, and don't expect to recover any of our stolen property. We are praying for God to use Paul's Bible to save the thieves or someone else. (It would be great if the thieves would get saved and then RETURN OUR STUFF!!!)

Then on Sunday, instead of watching the Superbowl with some friends from Sunday School, Paul sat in the waiting room at the hospital waiting for his mother to get out of emergency surgery. The surgery went well, but she is fighting infection, so she is still on a ventilator and sedated. She knows the Lord, so we aren't worried about her eternal destiny, but we sure would like to have more time with her! Paul has been dividing his time between visiting at the hospital, helping to care for his father (who has some dementia), ministering to his siblings (some of whom do not know Jesus), and all the regular stuff of life like working and spending time with us.

God must have some great things in store for us, because He sure is allowing some situations that are causing us to stretch our faith and rely on Him and Him alone! Since we know He wastes nothing we can be sure that He is working even in these awful things. (Now if only I can keep that perspective all the time!)

Wow, I can't believe January is almost over and I haven't updated the blog! I had great intentions of sitting quietly and praying about what goals God would like me to achieve this year and then blogging about all my good intentions. But in our house, sitting quietly doesn't happen all that often. And when it does I usually would rather read a book. Or take a quick nap. Which I read yesterday in my issue of Southern Living is good for you.

I have spent a little bit of time thinking about what I want to change this year. Mainly this time was when I was getting ready in the mornings, so my thought processes were interrupted by thoughts about whether I had moisturized or not and which leg I had just shaved.

The good thing about waiting until January is that I can give an update of my progress in my goal areas. (And maybe not mention any areas of complete failure!) This year I knew I needed to be more consistent in teaching Faith and Hope science and history. The fall was more hit-and-miss than I would have liked. And we have really done good this month! I even learned how to use the interlibrary loan system so we can have an expanded pool of books to use for history!

I also NEED to become more organized. I have several areas of my home that REALLY need work, so I came up with a mental schedule of which area to work on which month (with a month or two of catch-up or rest built in). January I wanted to organize the linen closet by the girls' bathroom. I just have the top shelf left! I also organized my MANY e-mails, either deleting or archiving the old ones.

I wanted to cook more and eat out less, and we have done pretty well here as well. The times we have eaten out have been planned times and not just because I didn't have a plan for supper. I have also been getting back in the habit of using coupons. If I were organized I would know how much I have saved so far, but I know I have saved close to ten dollars in addition to using a fifteen dollars in gift cards that came as bonuses from prior purchases. And everything I used coupons for was stuff I regularly use. So not too bad.

The thing I've struggled most on is actually the most important thing! My Bible study and prayer time has been sporadic lately, and I NEED to be consistent in spending time with my Father. Sadly, I haven't seen much change here. But I know God is faithful and He will enable to do this. Since I'm not a part of a group Bible study at church, this requires more self-motivation on my part than I needed in the fall. But my relationship with God should be motivation enough!

Now I'm off to read God's Word before reading a story (which I got through an interlibrary loan) to my girls!

Here are some things I'll remember about this Christmas:

Best tradition: Our Advent wreath. We would light it each night at supper and I would read a prophecy from the Old Testament and its fulfillment in the New Testament. Then one of the girls would blow out the candle.

Best performance: The children's Christmas musical. Hope had a role in the drama portion, Faith read a small piece during one of the songs, and Joy & Grace were angels in the Nativity portion. All four did a great job and were really cute! Joy & Grace were particularly entertaining as they moved to the music when they sang!

Best gift that I gave: American Girl dolls to each of my girls and the Creative Memories storybook I made for Paul.

Best gift that I received: Prints of the family pictures we took. We won a sitting at the best photographer in town, and the pictures look great. (Unfortunately, although the sitting was free, the prints were not!) This is the first time we've had pictures made someplace other than the portrait studio of a department store, so these are special. I also received a very sweet story my girls wrote.

Funniest gift: A can of possum (at least that's what it says on the label). Paul and I bought this at a gift shop years ago. Then a few Christmases ago we gave it as a gag gift to my sister & her husband. We've been passing it back & forth ever since. This year was our turn to get it.

Best meal: Stopping at my favorite Mexican restaurant on the way home from visiting family. Mexican food may not be traditional Christmas fare, but I think it should be!

Best reunion: My sister and her family (including her new baby) came to the states from their station overseas. I got to meet my nephew for the first time!

Worst reunion: Between 2 sisters who hadn't seen each other in over two years. One invaded the other's personal space and a cat fight broke out. Literally. The feud was between our cat and her sister, who is owned by our friends. Our friends picked our cat up from boarding and kept her for a couple of hours until we got home. All our children's dreams of a sweet reunion were dashed very quickly!

Returns & exchanges: We only have to exchange a Barbie that's supposed to sing but doesn't and an American Girl doll necklace that doesn't work.

I am in the midst of Beth Moore's Living Beyond Yourself Bible study. This week is on kindness and goodness. Yesterday, I read about God's loving kindness to His people Israel and to us and how He so often expresses that kindness in terms of a loving parent. It's a beautiful picture that inspires me to be a more aware of God's Fatherhood and to be a better parent to my girls.

In the back of my mind the verse about the kindness of God leading us toward repentance kept playing in my head. I looked up the verse and it says, "Or do you presume on the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?" Rom. 2:4 (ESV) God does not force us to repent. He doesn't shame us to repentance (although He most definitely does convict!). He doesn't nag us to repent. He gently draws us to a place of heart change through kindness.

And I thought about my parenting. Am I trying to bring about heart change in my children using methods that can only change their behavior but not their hearts? Nagging, threatening, yelling, and punishing might bring about the behavior I'm hoping for, but my children's hearts won't be more tender toward God or more obedient to me because I do those things. I realize that I need to use kindness to motivate my children to want to obey. I need to use kindness to draw their hearts to me and to God. This doesn't let me off the hook when it comes to discipline. Leniency is not kindness!

So I'm asking God to give me creative ways to show godly kindness to my girls. It will reap rewards in all our lives.

This week a hint of fall came to our neck of the woods. It wasn't full-blown fall, and I know it's only temporary, but it was a welcome change nonetheless. The girls noticed and wanted to spend much of their days playing in the lovely weather. And I let them. Which means I let some of their chores be postponed. So our house needs a little work.

I had planned for Friday and Saturday to be our catch-up days. We had no other obligations those days so I knew we would have time to both get caught up on our housework and enjoy the beautiful days. Until the stomach virus hit.

Joy had actually had a touch of it on Tuesday. Friday Grace came down with it. Saturday began with me feeling awful. Then Hope got sick. And then Faith. We were a rather pathetic bunch! And so the house remains cluttered. But I am so glad that the girls played outside earlier in the week. We can clean house any time. Such great weather isn't likely to be around for long.

I opted for the girls to have fun memories of playing stick horses in the back yard, eating a picnic lunch in the playhouse, and picking beautiful bouquets of flowers for me. One day I hope to figure out how to structure our time so we can have the memories and the tidy house. But for now I'll choose the memories.